


A Tribe to Call Home

by StarTrekkin08



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Western, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Kidnapping, Love, Native American Character(s), Native American/First Nations Cultures, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Violence, circa 1830s to 1850s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:01:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27464593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarTrekkin08/pseuds/StarTrekkin08
Summary: Anything can happen in the West. Can Kathryn Janeway endure it alone?A Native American historical AU.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn Janeway & Sekaya
Comments: 25
Kudos: 42





	A Tribe to Call Home

**Author's Note:**

> The term, "Indian," is used in the story to fit the time period in question. There are actual Native American rituals and customs reflected in this story, primarily of Cherokee and Cheyenne origin but may have also been used by multiple cultures. However, there are aspects to this story that are completely fictional as well. The setting is in the Midwest but in no particular location for the story's sake...and for the sake of using tipis instead of wigwams or lodges [or the end would be a bit more awkward....if you know what I mean. ;)] . I do not claim to be an expert on Native American culture.
> 
> Thanks to my betas JAlexMac and Jemabean!

What she remembered most was that it was a clear, sunny, spring day. Kathryn was tending to the garden, or what would soon be a vegetable and fruit garden. She stuck the hoe down into the soft soil and rested her chin and hands on top of the hoe. She knew she wasn't much of a gardener and hoped her experiment with fertilizer would work. She listened for the sounds of the birds she usually heard at that time of day, but there was no birdsong, which Kathryn found odd. She watched a slight breeze rustle through the trees and across the fields of wheat. A trickle of sweat on her face made her remove her hat. She wiped her forehead and a loose reddish tendril was brushed aside before replacing it.

"Molly?" She called out for her Irish Setter. Kathryn looked around and called out again, "Molly?"

Her dog was nowhere to be seen or found. Kathryn put the hoe down, gathered up her dress, and headed towards the barn where Molly would sometimes watch the cows. She went inside and beckoned, "Molly? Where are you, girl?"

Kathryn heard the scuffling of several footsteps behind her and quickly turned around. There were five male Indians at the barn entrance. She backed off and said, "What are you doing here? What do you want?"

They said something in their native tongue, which she didn't understand, but their body language told her enough. She had heard tales of unfriendly natives in the area the past six months. Kathryn usually had a shotgun close, but not this time. The nearest town was close to an hour ride on horseback and she had no neighbors. Kathryn ran for a shovel in the corner next to one of the stalls, but one of them caught her waist and pulled her towards them.

"No! Let go of me!" The Indian held a tight grip as she punched, kicked, and yelled to no avail. Kathryn’s boots scuffled on the ground and her straw hat fell off during the struggle. She forced all of her weight towards the down while he dragged her out of the barn towards their horses. They tied her wrists with rope and attached it to a saddle belonging to one of her horses they took from the barn.

She tried her best to free herself, but she was surrounded and had nothing nearby to help her. Kathryn took a few last looks at her flickering home before they took her into the woods.

...

Kathryn didn't know how long they had been traveling, perhaps two hours by the sun. It was a warm spring day and she was now struggling to keep up with the horses on foot. The rope dug into her wrists. She didn’t understand why they just didn’t put her on the horse. Maybe it was to humiliate her? To break her? Finally, she stopped walking but they didn't and neither did the horse. Kathryn tripped and fell onto the ground when the horse moved on without her. Although it was a warm day, the ground was still soft from recent showers. She was dragged about thirty feet before they stopped. A native came over to her and Kathryn stated, "I need to rest. I can't walk any further. If you don't want me to stop or slow you down you should put me on a horse." She tried signaling towards her feet and then to the horse.

The men laughed. The one who had taken her, the one with a vertical line of red paint streaked down across the left side of his face, got off the horse and slapped her, sending Kathryn to the ground. He spat at the dirt and took something from the horse’s pouch and shared it with the others. It was a meat jerky. Her mouth watered and she wished she had eaten more than a few eggs in the morning. The warrior threw a piece on the ground in front of her. Since she didn't know when it would be the next time she ate off to drink, she wiped it off her dress and ate it. They laughed again at her before another Indian lifted her over the horse and the others saddled up to continue the journey.

…

Kathryn looked for opportunities to escape but the men were always vigilant.

They spent several days on the pathway until they reached their village. Kathryn had no idea where she was. All she knew was that she was hungry, her feet hurt, she had multiple scrapes, her dress was torn, and her boots were soiled. When they arrived, she was handed over to a middle-aged woman to be in her charge and brought over to a tipi. When Kathryn entered the tent, she noticed a younger woman sitting innside.

The older woman gave Kathryn some kind of bread and she ate it fervently. The younger woman, who appeared to be in her early twenties, gathered a pitcher and poured her a cup of water.

"Thank you," Kathryn said to the young woman even though she doubted she knew any English. She quickly drank the water and coughed from the rush.

"You welcome," she replied.

"You speak English?" Kathryn said with surprise.

"I speak little English. White Man's school."

She nodded. Kathryn knew that there were boarding schools meant to condition and reform American Indians to the, "White Man's culture." Some natives escaped and went back to their tribes.

The older woman said something to the young woman. The younger woman snapped back with her tone, apparently arguing back. The older woman pointed to Kathryn and shoved some cloth into the younger woman's arms before she stormed out.

Kathryn asked "Is that your mother?"

"No. Not belong to tribe. Taken," the young woman answered.

"So you are a captive, too?"

She nodded, "Captive." She pointed to the direction where the woman left. "You wash in stream," she said and handed her what she assumed were her towels.

Kathryn looked at her current state of her dress, which had a thin coat of dried mud on it. "She does not like dirt, does she?"

The woman laughed and followed her out. The older woman followed them and was also escorted by a warrior. "What if I tried to escape?" Kathryn asked.

The woman shook her head with a serious look. "No. Tried."

"What is your name?"

"Sekaya. Two Feathers."

She stuck out a hand to Sekaya and said, "I am Kathryn. Nice to meet you, Sekaya."

...

The days passed. Then a few weeks passed.

Sekaya told them they called Kathryn, “Fire Hair.” The two women became fast friends and both she and Sekaya were made to do chores around the village. The tribe they were in was known as the Crows. It didn't take long to gather that the Crows were a violent and warring tribe, and from what Sekaya told her, were even known to scalp. Kathryn decided to remain close to the women for her own safety, as did Sekaya. The older woman, Ground Watcher, had been their designated keeper. She was not happy about her position and clearly made it well-known. If Kathryn or Sekaya did something wrong, they would be punished with more work.

Kathryn was never the best housewife. Hell, she hadn't even been a wife. It wasn't long after Mark had proposed to her that they decided to go west. Of course, travelling together as an unmarried couple was a shock to everyone in their families. Not to mention that her mother, sister, and neighbors warned it was too dangerous to go west... perhaps they were right. Kathryn thought of the small house and the surrounding acres she called home. The barn, two cows, two horses, and the chickens. Her dog, Molly. Oh, how she missed her Irish Setter. She had no idea what happened to her.

Kathryn's daydreaming caused her to burn the fish she was cooking. Surprised by the large flame, she dropped it on the campfire. Quickly, she felt a strong grip clasp her arm. Kathryn saw that it was the one with the red line on his face. His eyes were of pure rage now that his lunch was ruined.

"I'm sorry. It was an accident," Kathryn explained.

Red Line grabbed a handful of her wavy long hair and yanked Kathryn away from the fire. His other hand continued to bruise her arm. He was angrily talking to her. Sekaya tried to free her, but she was restrained from doing so by another they called Grey Stone.

Kathryn yelled as Red Line dragged her into his tipi before he laid a strong hand on her face, and then another, before he shoved her onto the ground. She could taste the blood from her cut lip and the radiant warmth from her throbbing face. Kathryn got up and tried to run past him, but his hand caught her throat. He forced her onto her back and crawled over her. She tried to kick and push him off with all of her strength. "Get off me!" Red Line tugged at the dress and exposed her shoulder before sinking his teeth into it. She cried out at the pain from the mark he made. His rough hands scratched the fabric of her bloomers as he tugged them down. Kathryn screamed out as he lifted her dress. The Irish in her fought as she waited for the inevitable to happen. Red Line moved the front of his breechclout down and exposed himself to her. Then something changed and he stopped his lean over her. There were shrieks and sounds of horses outside the tipi and Red Line stood up. However, before he could turn around, another arm quickly went around his neck and pulled Red Line out of the open tipi.

Once she realized she had a chance to escape, Kathryn put her bloomers back up as quickly as she could with very shaky hands before she stood up. When she stepped through the tipi's entrance saw Red Line struck down with a hatchet by an Indian she's never seen before. Red Line laid still on the ground exposed, with blood pouring out of his chest from the axe. His face was frozen in shock at his sudden demise. Kathryn noticed there were Indians scattered about the village who were not a part of the tribe. The warrior who killed Red Line locked his eyes on her. His face was terrifying with Red Line’s blood splattered on it, and he moved towards her. She rushed inside Red Line's tipi and looked for anything that would help her. Kathryn found a knife and gripped it tightly. The Indian who had killed Red Line with an axe entered the tent with blood on his hands. With shaky hands, Kathryn stuck the knife towards him.

"Don't come any closer!" Kathryn warned and shrieked, "I will use this if I have to!" She thought it probably looked rather pathetic, but it was her only defense right now. There were bows and arrows in the tipi as well but she didn’t know how to use them.

Kathryn expected him to lunge and grab for the knife. Instead, he lifted hands up as if cautiously approaching a tiger. He then motioned with his hand for her to come out of the tipi.

"No, I won't." Kathryn shook her head and Sekaya came into the tipi. "Run!" Kathryn yelled at her.

Sekaya said, "No run. Come! My tribe! Safe."

Kathryn took a moment to process the information. She was confused. Sekaya's tribe is here? She lifted the shoulder of her dress over the bite mark on her shoulder but was slow to lower the knife. Sekaya slowly came over to Kathryn, and lowered the knife in her hand. She pried the knife out of Kathryn’s hand and then took her hand. Sekaya led Kathryn past the fierce-looking, blood-covered, man and out of the tipi. They went through and walked past the bodies of Red Line and others. It was quiet in the village; proof that the raid was over. Red Line’s killer talked to Sekaya while they walked towards a horse.

How could Sekaya calmly talk to him?

Kathryn stopped walking. She stood pale and was very quiet, as she held onto her arms. The adrenaline was still surging through her veins and she felt like she might be sick. Kathryn was unsure of what to do and felt a little lost and confused. Sekaya said something to the man. Then Sekaya looked and nodded towards Kathryn before she walked over to her. The man Sekaya spoke to took a horse that had belonged to Red Line, and followed Sekaya.

“You get on horse,” Sekaya said towards Kathryn.

He indicated to Kathryn that she climb onto the horse. The man had long, black locks that ran past his shoulders with a feather tied to the middle of his hair. He had the same tattoo that Sekaya had over her eye, resembling a shape that reminded her of a mountain and a wave. The other men also had the same tattoo. Kathryn noticed that the warrior still had blood on his face and hands. She looked into his eyes looking for the hate and anger she saw so often from the Crow tribe. Instead she found something else. She saw fierce eyes, perhaps full of distrust, she thought. Kathryn looked at Sekaya, who gave her a nod of assurance from her horse. With that, Kathryn got onto the horse and frowned.The horse only had a blanket and she wasn't used to riding without a saddle. She took hold of the horse's mane and knew it was going to be a rough ride.

After the rest of Sekaya's tribe mounted their own horses, Kathryn took a slow look around the village and saw that Ground Watcher looked concerned as she stood next to another woman. Red Line’s killer said something loudly towards members of the Crow village that sounded like a threat or a warning before they headed out.

...

Before it became too dark they made camp by a river. Kathryn was so tired, she felt it, as she almost slipped off the horse. She got off and grabbed the blanket of a saddle. She was so sore from riding, and she could hardly see out of her left eye. It was almost completely swollen shut and slightly weeped in the corner from the beating Red Line had given her. As soon as she could she laid the blanket down, and sat down upon it.

Sekaya came over with a water pouch and lifted her chin and looked over her face. She carefully touched her face but Kathryn still flinched."It hurt?"

Kathryn muttered, "Yes, it hurts."

"Did he hurt..." and Sekaya looked down. Kathryn knew she was asking about the attempted rape.

Kathryn subconsciously touched her shoulder and shook her head. "No, he was not able to, thankfully.".

“Arm?” Sekaya asked. She meant her shoulder. Kathryn looked around before she slowly showed her the bite mark on her shoulder. Sekaya frowned and sucked in air through her teeth as she saw the clear teeth marks of her attacker.

Sekaya passed Kathryn a water pouch. Kathryn drank from it and returned it to her. "Thanks."

"Hungry?"

Kathryn shook her head. Although she could use some food, she had a migraine and all she could think of was sleep. "My head hurts and I am very tired."

Sekaya nodded. "Safe. Sleep." Once again Sekaya gave her assurance and she walked away. Kathryn's boots had worn roughly against her feet when she was dragged earlier that day. She could tell there was dried blood from blisters on her worn socks but there was no way she was taking them off now. She laid down on her side and used her arm as a pillow, tucked her other hand to her chest, and faced away from the camp. Kathryn rotated the gold ring on her right hand as she always did when she was anxious. It was an odd way of finding comfort, and she needed it more now than ever. She heard the men talk in their unfamiliar language around the fire they had made before falling asleep.

...

Kathryn woke up to find a blanket on top of her in the morning. It had been a cold spring night despite the warm day yesterday. She could feel the cool morning dew on her face, and saw the frost that covered the ground. As she opened her mouth her dried lips pried apart. She forgot about the cut on her lip but the peeling of her mouth quickly reminded her. She could move the swollen eye a little, but not without it throbbing and aching.

She wrapped the blanket tightly to her body. Someone must have put her on it at night because the one she laid down was still under her. It must have been Sekaya, she thought. Kathryn noticed she was not the only one who was up. The warrior from yesterday was heating up some meat by the fire. She noticed there was another tattoo, an animal paw, on his left shoulder. She looked away, remembering the sheer violence he inflicted yesterday. Although Red Line deserved it, she couldn't get the raw and intense scene out of her mind.

She fingered the torn holes and tears in her green dress and sighed. It was one of her favorite dresses because of its lighter, breathable fabric. Unfortunately, it also meant that it was easy to tear. She looked at the damage of her dress, and realized it was much worse than she had thought it was.

Kathryn heard footsteps and saw the warrior walk towards her. Her heart started to pound and her stomach clenched. The others were not awake yet and she did not know what he was going to do. Her eyes grew wider and she held tightly onto the blanket around her. He soon stood before her and she felt frozen. Then he crouched down and held out some fresh cooked meat and a water pouch. He gestured them towards Kathryn for her to take the items. She just stared for a moment before he gestured again. She looked at him and slowly took the items. Kathryn gave a nod and nervously said, "Thank you."

He gave a nod back and returned to his spot. She gave a small sigh of relief. He was a very mysterious man. Yesterday he had so much anger in his eyes when he attacked Red Line. Fury, more like it. Today it was gone. The blood was gone. This man with the paw tattoo had not hurt her. He just offered her bread and water, which was from his own portion. She ate the food and drank some water, and soon others started to wake.

After Sekaya ate some food, also handed by the same warrior, she started to talk with Kathryn.

"How feel?" She asked.

“My face and my shoulder still hurt. My butt and my feet feel sore.”

“No,” Sekaya clarified, “How feel inside?”

"I am fine." Kathryn shook her head and looked down. Sekaya softly touched her neck and Kathryn felt the bruises that must have formed. Sekaya took her hand and placed the other on Kathryn's hand to comfort her.

"My tribe. Family. Kathryn safe."

Kathryn bit her lip and looked back up. She had no reason to doubt her. The men in her tribe have shown her no anger or violence like the Crows did to her... even though they did stare at her at times.

Kathryn bobbed a nod as if to reassure herself as well and Sekaya gave her a hug. She was not expecting one but it melted her and it felt so good. It felt so good to be touched, to be cared for. Before she knew it her tears were flowing down from her closed, crying, eyes onto Sekaya's beaded dress. Kathryn couldn’t help it, and Sekaya rubbed her back to calm her down. She heard someone come near and Sekaya talked to them in their native tongue for a while before the footsteps went away.

Then Sekaya said to her, "My brother. Concerned about you."

"Brother?" Kathryn sniffled and wiped her eyes, careful of her left eye.

Sekaya broke off the hug and pointed. "My brother," she said. Kathryn followed the hand she held and it was pointing to the same warrior who fed her breakfast.

"That is your brother?" Kathryn asked.

Sekaya smiled. "Chakotay. Angry Wolf."

"Cha-?" Kathryn tried to say it.

"Cha-ko-tay."

"Chak-o-tay?" She tried.

Sekaya giggled and said it again.

"Sha-koh-tay she slowly pronounced. Chakotay."

"Chakotay," said correctly this time. Chakotay's ears picked up his name and looked towards them. Yes, it was the same man.

Kathryn asked, "Do you have any other brothers or sisters?"

"No."

Kathryn nodded. "I have a sister. She is about your age. Her name is Phoebe."

"Phee?"

"Phoebe."

"Phoebe," Sekaya said and Kathryn nodded.

"Miss her?"

"Yes, very much. She lives far away with my mother."

"Home far away?" Sekaya asked.

"Yes."

"Now you have new home," Sekaya said and held onto her hands.

Kathryn looked at the blanket she had on her. “I...I don't know whose blanket this is. I should give this back to them before we set off."

"Keep. Can give back to Chakotay at village."

 _Is it Chakotay's blanket?_ Kathryn wondered.

"Okay."

....

Kathryn laid the blanket over the other and she was thankful for the extra padding because her romp was sore from such a long ride yesterday. Then they rode on.

At sunset, she wasn't as tired as she was the night before and Kathryn made sure to stay closer to the fire. She noticed that Sekaya slept close to her brother. Kathryn didn't see it last night because she faced away from the group and went to sleep early. Kathryn remembered her younger sister sometimes cuddling in bed with her on a lazy morning. Oh, if she could see Phoebe now...or if Phoebe could see her now. All the questions she would have for her. She closed her eyes and dreamed of the family farmhouse in Indiana.

...

It took them nearly a week to reach their village where the members of the tribe were cheering at their safe return.

After dismounting Kathryn saw Sekaya and Chakotay walk towards an older man. The older man held his arms out and Sekaya gave him a hug. Kathryn thought it must be her father by the affection that was given. She looked at the older man and noticed his elaborate dress compared to the rest of the men in the village. Is he also the chieftain?

Sekaya came back towards Kathryn and took her hand and guided her towards the older man. She could hear some whispers and the eyes of the people of the tribe on her. Kathryn fidgeted her thumbs against each other. Before she knew it she was standing in front of him. Sekaya talked to the older man who had curiosity plastered on his face and he nodded as he listened. When she was done he responded and faced Kathryn as if he was talking directly to her. It was hard for her to focus on his face when her left eye was barely able to open.

"Father says you welcome here. You stay in our tipi. No hurt come to you like Crows," Sekaya said.

Her eyes, or rather eye, watered as she saw the care in the man's face and saw that his hospitality was genuine. Sekaya's father reminded her much of her own who had died years ago. "Thank you. Thank you very much," she said and gave a nod. Sekaya told her father and he gave a smile. He said something out loud towards the village people and everyone cheered. As they walked towards a tipi Sekaya explained, "We have feast tonight."

"Is your father the chief?" Kathryn asked.

Sekaya smiled and said, "Yes. Chief Kolopak. Quiet River."

So, Sekaya was the chief's daughter. That explained a lot in regards to how the Crows were with her compared to Kathryn.

"So that is why the Crows hardly touched you? That's why you were so insistent your tribe would come?"

"Yes," she said as they entered the tent. Kathryn looked around the tipi at the furs and items. Sekaya pointed to one area. "Yours."

"My bed?"

Sekaya nodded and said, "Let me show village," and they went back out of the tent. Kathryn still heard whispers around her as Sekaya showed her around the village.

"It is your hair."

Kathryn replied slightly confused, "Excuse me?"

"Your hair. Red."

It took a while to understand what she meant. Kathryn realized they had never seen a person with red hair before like hers. She thought it was because of her appearance, but perhaps that was not all of it. Sekaya showed her where the medicine woman, Blue Sparrow, lived, where they did various chores, the communal area, and so forth. She also showed her the lake that was not far away.

Kathryn let out a sigh at the sight of the lake. "It's beautiful."

Kathryn looked at the water and saw the large purple bruises around her eye and neck as well as the cut lip. She crouched down and touched her face at the sight. She definitely looked battered by Red Line. It looked worse than she thought, but it matched how she felt. She scooped up some water and let it cool her face. Then she looked at the state of her clothing. She felt grimy and uncomfortable.

"Can I bathe here?" Kathryn asked, making sure it was not a sacred place.

Sekaya nodded.

Kathryn smiled. It definitely was no tub, but it was hot outside for a late spring day and the water was refreshing. She took off her boots and rinsed them in the water before doing the same with her socks and setting them on a rock. Finally, after days her feet could breathe. She took her dress off and cleaned it as well as she could but it still looked shredded. Kathryn sighed and put it on a bush to dry along with her corset. She stepped in the water in her underclothes and Sekaya giggled at the sight. When Kathryn was finally shoulder-deep she dipped under and let her long hair wave through the water. The water tangled her hair as she ran her fingers through it. The bite on her shoulder had scabbed over. The warm sun felt good on her face when she emerged. She swam through the water and it felt so refreshing. It was a bit soothing. For once she felt like she could breathe.

When she turned around to see what Sekaya was doing, she came into the lake but she was naked. Kathryn covered her eyes and waited for the water to cover her up before she looked back at her. Sekaya rolled her eyes and laughed.

...

They were not kidding about a feast and celebration that night. There was enough food for everyone with the hunting parties' success. The women seemed to be dressed in their finest and so were the men. Kathryn felt so out of place with her dress and her appearance, especially sitting beside the chief.

The chief asked Kathryn some questions through Sekaya.

"How long you been away from your people?" Was translated to her from the chief.

Kathryn clarified, "From my home? Since I was captured by the Crow. My family? A long time. About a year."

Sekaya translated to her father.

"Mate? You have mate looking for you?" He asked through Sekaya.

Kathryn looked down. "No," she said softly.

Kolopak noticed her change in tone.

"Father... sorry painful talk," Sekaya translated the apology.

"It is fine," she said.

The dancing started around the fire. Sekaya motioned for her to join but she shook her head. Kathryn did not feel like dancing and didn’t know how they danced.The younger woman shrugged and joined in. Kathryn watched as the village danced. All but a few remained besides her. The elderly, the chief, who walked over to talk to the elderly, and Chakotay. She still felt odd and cautious with him. She caught a look of the side of his face while he was looking toward the dancers. The orange glow lit up his bronze face with its strong chin. His long obsidian hair rested on his back. He was quite attractive, and the orange of the flames made his skin glow.

Kathryn saw a few young women flirt with him, and it appeared they asked him to dance. He politely turned them down by the disappointed looks on their faces. She did not know why he did. Enough of the women were interested; that was apparent. She looked at him curiously. Kathryn did not understand this Chakotay. Besides the one time she saw him kill Red Line, she never saw him angry and never saw him yell. It appeared to be that he led the warriors and was well-respected. Yet, it did feel as if he had a chip on his shoulder at the same time and she did not know what it was. He turned his face and caught her looking in his direction. Her face suddenly felt warm in embarrassment that he caught her staring at him.

Chakotay stood up and walked the few strides that distanced them and sat down next to her. Her heart started to race. She was not comfortable enough in his presence even though he was Sekaya's brother. She told herself it was because of the state of the circumstance in which she first met him. She just couldn't shake it. He was looking at her and she pretended to watch the dancing until she couldn't help it but look at him. Chakotay tilted his head to the side and Kathryn nervously tucked a random stray hair behind her ear and her hand rested over the bruises in her neck. What was he looking at? Was he looking at her hair?

Chakotay touched his own face near his left eye and said, "Eye hurt?"

She was stunned. Her mouth opened slightly and her hand went straight to her left eye. She thought Sekaya was the only one who knew some English and she had never heard Chakotay speak English before.

"Sometimes," she said.

"Red Line who hurt?" Chakotay drew the imaginary line of the Crow's mark on his face. She nodded. Kathryn swore she heard him growl. It shocked her and she didn't know what to do. She focused to the side of his face.

Chakotay said sternly, "He did not have honor. Not good man."

"No," she mumbled.

"Our warrior never do that. Any woman. Thrown out tribe."

Kathryn didn't know why he was suddenly talking to her or telling her this. Maybe he was just trying to tell her she was safe in their tribe.

Finally, curiosity got the best of her and she asked, "How do you know English?"

"Russian trader."

"Why did you not speak English earlier?"

"Not very good. White Man language. White Man try to take land. Took Sekaya away school."

"Oh."

An awkward silence fell between them. So he hated White men. That might be that chip on his shoulder, she thought. So what about her? How did he feel about a White woman in the tribe?

There was a continued lingering silence and she started to nervously fidget. She couldn't stand the silence and uncomfortableness any longer.

"Well, I am going to sleep. Goodnight, Chakotay."

He looked surprised when she stood up with her blanket and entered her tipi.

...

A month later she awoke to Sekaya shaking her arm.

"What is it?"

"We have skins! Skins ready!"

Kathryn was confused in her haze as to what she meant.

"Skins. Make dress. Mocassins," Sekaya hinted towards Kathryn's current dress and shoes.

Kathryn looked at her worn clothes and said, "A new dress and shoes?"

Sekaya smiled. She knew Kathryn was trying her best to mend her own clothes last by trying to sew up the holes but Sekaya knew she was embarrassed at how tattered they had become.

The morning and afternoon were spent on Sekaya showing her how to make her dress and moccasins. The leather had already been tanned and dried. Kathryn stabbed herself multiple times with the bone needle. She had to be careful cutting fringes on the dress. She certainly was no seamstress but she was happy with the outcome. Sekaya gave her some blue beads to put around the neckline.

"Match eyes," she said.

...

A week later Kathryn put her new dress and moccasins on. The soft leather shoes were comfortable and soothing to her calloused feet. She felt much happier with the soft new attire.

She left the tipi and made her way to join the women who were going to forage. Kathryn got the usual curious looks as she walked through the village. Then she started to hear some giggles behind her. Eventually she realized it was something to do with her. Kathryn heard a stern male voice and turned around. Chakotay was talking to the giggling women who immediately shut up as if they were scolded children. Then, surprisingly, Chakotay said something and had a laugh. The young women blushed and walked away.

Kathryn was confused by what just happened and Chakotay walked over to explain. "Made fun. Dress. Remind them of first dress made," he said in his broken English. His serious face had a corner curl into a smile. She had not seen him smile before but it was warm and it made her smile. He was standing up for her, protecting her from humiliation.

"Thank you, even though I can stand up for myself." She then spoke her thanks in his native tongue, which she had learned a few weeks ago.

His smile grew and he gave a nod. The smile accentuated his handsome looks and she felt herself growing warmer. The man confused her because he was still such a mystery.

"I...well, I better join the others and collect nuts and berries," she said and left him to join Sekaya and the other women.

...

The women returned to the village and started to grind down some of the nuts they gathered.

Kathryn was focused on the rhythm she had going when Sekaya said, "Brother looking."

"Hmm?' Kathryn said as she ground some of the nuts into powder.

"Brother. Look at you."

Kathryn looked up and saw that Chakotay was, indeed, looking at her about thirty feet away. When she caught him he immediately returned to preparing the fish the men brought. Kathryn shook her head and Sekaya shrugged. She snuck another look and saw him looking again before returning to work. She was used to people still looking at her.

There were some sounds coming from the edge of the village that caught everyone's attention.

"Trade with other tribe," Sekaya said and the women brought their baskets over. There were five members from a neighboring tribe who came to visit.

Kolopak, Chakotay, and the elders went to greet the visitors and they all sat down. It appeared that Chakotay was the negotiator since he was the one talking the most. Some of the nuts and berries were traded as well as dried fish, animals, and other items.

The negotiator for the other tribe pointed at Kathryn, who was standing on the sidelines. Kathryn started to worry and her heart began to pound. Did they want her to be traded to them? She couldn't believe that. She knew the Crow planned on trading her, but she knew Sekaya wouldn't allow it. She didn’t know if the Dorvans traded and sold people. She gritted her teeth, her stomach tightened, waiting for the worst.

Sekaya said, "Ring."

Kathryn blinked and looked down upon the gold ring on her right hand. "What? My ring?"

Sekaya lowered her voice and said, "Need to trade. We need items." It appeared that the negotiator for the neighboring tribe was adamant about it. The Dorvan tribe was not exactly large or had many resources but they were large enough to protect their own within the Trebus Nation.

Kathryn slowly slipped the ring off her finger and handed it over to the negotiator of the other tribe. Without looking at anyone, she walked back to her spot and bit her lip and dug her fingernails into her palm. She watched them talk for a minute. However, it became too difficult for her to watch the ring in someone else's possession and she backed away from the crowd.

As soon as she made it out of the immediate area she ran into the forest until she could hardly see the village. Her chest was tight and she felt like couldn’t breathe. Her hand braced the tree bark as she placed the other over her mouth to stifle a sob and she slowly fell to her knees. Tears flowed freely onto her dress and onto the ground.

That ring was the last thing she had tied to Mark. It had been handed down in his family and he was the last member of his family. It was agonizing to watch him succumb to pneumonia, taking care of him as he faded away with each passing day until he was gone. When Kathryn visited her mother and sister while in mourning they both begged her to stay with them. But Kathryn couldn't leave the house that she and Mark had built; they had put so much work into it. That ring gave her strength, especially now. But Mark was gone. That life she had was gone. Her heart was heavy and in pain. She could feel her aching breastplate during her anxiety attack. She felt she had nothing left of her own.

Before it grew too dark she made her way back to the village with puffy eyes. She didn't look at anyone and made her way back into the tipi to where her blanket was. Her lips started to tremble and her heart dropped.

Her ring was on the blanket.

She picked up the ring as if it would disappear like a mirage once she touched it.

Sekaya said behind her, "No trade ring."

Kathryn looked up at her. "I...I thought the tribe needed it to trade for the items?" She stuttered and mumbled through her tight throat.

"Chakotay made new deal."

Her brother.

"Ring special?" Sekaya asked.

"Yes. My fiancé gave it to me. It belonged to his ancestors."

"Fanc-y?" she tried to say.

"Betrothed. My mate," she said.

"Husband?" Sekaya tried to clarify.

"No. Almost."

Sekaya asked with a serious tone, "He dead?"

In a garbled voice Kathryn said, "Yes. He got very sick. He died last winter."

Sekaya laid a comforting arm on her shoulder. Kathryn cleared her throat and asked, "Where is Chakotay?"

"In his tipi."

Kathryn left their own tipi and went next door into his. Chakotay looked startled as he stood up from his sitting position. He said something quickly in his language. She came and placed a hand on his arm. "Thank you, Chakotay. Thank you so much," her voice choked with tearful eyes as she showed him the ring she was referring to.

He looked down at her shorter figure and said in a deep, warm voice, "Important. Ring important. You very sad.”

Kathryn nodded and realized his arm was extremely muscular and warm. Sekaya wasn't kidding that he hardly ever got cold. Her hand lingered a bit before she took her hand off. She didn't even realize she was touching him.

"What did you trade instead?"

Chakotay shook his head.

"Tell me," she ordered.

"A horse.”

"A horse!" Kathryn exclaimed. A horse was expensive. Now she was frustrated and angry. The ring was worth that much to the negotiator?

She took off the ring and handed it towards him. "Get the horse back."

Chakotay pushed the ring towards her. "No. Trade done. My decision."

She swallowed and before she could refute the decision once more, Chakotay assured, "Fine. All fine. Heart worth more than horse."

Kathryn felt like the wind was knocked out of her. She gave a watery smile, bit her lip, gave a nod. She was barely able to manage another thank you before she hurried out into the cool night air. She went to her usual quiet place to watch the stars and ponder her future.

…

The feeling of the village shifted with the weather. There was talk that one of the tribes who the Dorvans were allied with were in a war with the Crows. The warriors prepared to leave. They already had their ceremonial dance the night before to ask the gods for strength, courage, and good fortune. Kathryn realized that they now had rifles with them. Some men were left to protect the village while the warriors were gone.

They kept themselves busy but everyone was on high alert when the men left..

Kathryn asked Sekaya, “Are those guns new? From the last trade deal?”

“Yes,” Sekaya replied.

“How long do these wars usually last?”

“Hours. Often less than day.”

“How many tribes are in the Trebus Nation?”

“Eight. Dorvan one of smallest.”

...

The warriors returned later that day in a variety of states: alive, injured, and dead. Chakotay was bent over on his horse with a hand clutching his upper chest, which was a cherry red.

“Chakotay!” Sekaya yelled and ran to him with Kathryn. Chakotay leaned to his left to get off the horse and stumbled onto the ground. Both of the women brought him into their tipi as one of the other warriors grabbed hold of his horse.

They laid him down on Kathryn’s bedding. Chakotay was sweating and shivering. Although his eyes were open, it was apparent that he was not fully aware of what was going on. Kathryn heated up some water while Sekaya put a blanket on him.

Chief Kolopak came in and talked to Sekaya. “Blue Sparrow with other hurt warriors,” Sekaya translated.

Kathryn brought the water over and said, “This is going to sting.” She poured the water over the wound and Chakotay winced. The wound was small and it appeared to be the head of an arrowhead stuck in it. Kathryn used her small fingers to carefully extract it. She had Sekaya put pressure on the wound while she found some thread and a porcupine quill needle.

Kolopak murmured and was translated into, “What doing?”

“The wound needs to be sewn up because it won’t stop bleeding.”

Kathryn’s hands shook a little as she started. Chakotay shuffled and Kolopak tried to keep him still while Sekaya put a warm wet cloth on Chakotay’s forehead. Sekaya was an apprentice of the medicine woman and she prepared a poultice in the meantime. It felt like it took forever but Kathryn finally was able to close off the wound. She kept on getting flashbacks of tending to Mark when she tied off the thread..

“Hopefully it is not infected,” Kathryn said and the back of her shaky hand wiped her forehead. Sekaya then applied the poultice on top of the stitches while Kathryn grabbed a rag and wet it.

“I need some air,” Kathryn said and stepped out of the tipi and let in a shuddered breath. The sunset was a beautiful hue of pink and orange. She saw Blue Sparrow come into their tipi after visiting her last patient. Kathryn wiped the blood from her hands with the rag. After she calmed down a bit she went back into the tipi. The medicine woman stood up and said something.

Sekaya translated, “She has never seen someone sew wound. Worked. She say you make good healer.”

“That’s nice of her to say. How does she think Chakotay is?” Kathryn inquired.

Sekaya talked with the medicine woman and said, “She say Chakotay should be fine if he not feel hot.”

“Good,” Kathryn said.

Blue Sparrow gave Kathryn a touch on the arm and talked.

“She asks what hurts soul,” Sekaya said.

“Nothing, nothing,” Kathryn lied.

The gray-haired woman looked straight into Kathryn’s eyes as if she saw right through her.

“She says you should go through cleansing ritual.”

“I’m fine. Perhaps another time.”

The medicine woman let go of her arm.

“She says it should be done sooner. Let her know.”

Kathryn nodded and the older woman left.

…

The next afternoon Chakotay stirred awake. He looked down at his wound and grunted as he sat up. Sekaya was nearby and walked over and talked in their native tongue.

"No fever. That is good."

Chakotay muttered back in their tongue, "You should have seen the other guy."

Sekaya rolled her eyes. "You should be glad we won."

Kathryn came into the tipi and Chakotay realized that he was not in his tipi. He looked down and realized he had bled on the furs that made up Kathryn’s bedding. There were more perishable items in the tipi from the last trade so there wasn't as much room. By the time he looked back up towards her she was gone.

"Where did she sleep?" he asked.

Sekaya questioned, "Huh? Who?"

"Fire Hair. Kath...ryn."

"She slept here. She slept against the backrest.'

Chakotay looked at the upright backrest with a blanket upon it.

"Her neck and back must be sore from that." Although it was usually comfortable, he didn't recommend it for sleeping. Sekaya thought it was fine but she could sleep on a rock. Plus, she wasn't old enough just yet to feel the aches of age.

"She's fine, big brother. It's you we're worried about. You were shivering and you passed out.'

Chakotay slowly sat up. "You exaggerate, Sekaya. I do not shiver and I do not pass out. I'm fine."

Sekaya rolled her eyes another time. "Men."

"Your eyes will be stuck like that someday.”

"You always say that," she jested.

"Was it my imagination or did she..." Chakotay looked down at his injury, "...sew me up?"

"Yes, she did and I made the poultice. Blue Sparrow found the stitching odd but was impressed with how well it worked."

Chakotay said, "I need to speak with her. I need to speak with Kathryn."

"What about?" His nosy sister asked.

Chakotay sighed and said, "Last night when repairing my wound, she looked...upset. Like it was painful for her."

Sekaya nodded. "She won't speak of it. Blue Sparrow even said to her that her soul was in pain. She offered Kathryn a soul cleansing.'

"What did she say?"

"She said another time."

"I think she's depressed, Sekaya."

"Me, too. For some moments she is better but then she quickly falls back into it. But we can't force her. She never does anything she doesn't want to."

....

Two months passed. Kathryn decided to go on a hunt for some blackberries she saw one time when she was out. Even though they were located a fair distance away from the village, she remembered how big and plump the blackberries were and had to have some. It was her one vice behind coffee, but she hadn't had any coffee since the day she was captured.

Things were still a bit awkward for her and she was still not used to her situation. Sometimes the villagers tried to be overly friendly and it just made her even more uncomfortable. She took her basket with her and listened to the sound the air made through the trees, which sounded like water. She was glad for it because they did have a heat wave recently that mid-summer day.

The bush was in her sight and she licked her lips. All of a sudden the ground cracked and gave way beneath her. Kathryn fell through the sinkhole. Her body finally crashed at the bottom of the pit. Kathryn let out a scream at the pain shooting in her leg, arm, and head. After getting over the initial shock of the fall, she moaned and tried to move her arm but pain shot through her. She suspected it was broken. Her knee hurt as well and looked up the hole. It was about six feet across and twenty feet deep. The sun felt bright and hot on her. She felt dizzy and felt something wet on her head. Kathryn touched a hand to her forehead and noticed blood on her hand. Kathryn started to yell for help.

...

"Have you seen Kathryn?" Sekaya asked her brother.

"No," Chakotay said, "Why?"

"She is missing. I have not seen her since mid-sun."

Seriously, he asked, "Where did she go?"

"I am not sure. Her berry basket is missing," Sekaya said. Chakotay could hear the worried undertone in her voice.

A bit anxiously, Chakotay asked "Do you think she left the tribe? Do you think she might have done something to herself?"

"No. She has never tried to leave before and all of her other things are still here. I am worried, brother," she pleaded with him.

"I will take some of my men to look for her, sister," Chakotay said and clasped her hands with his.

"Thank you, brother."

Chakotay took his hunting party and started the search but there were only a few hours of daylight and they returned empty handed.

"I'm sorry, Sekaya. We will have to wait until light."

Sekaya started pacing and started to bite her nails. "She would not leave without saying goodbye. We are friends," she said.

"I know. I do not believe she left, either," Chakotay said. "We will try again in the morning." Her sister hugged him tightly and he gave her a squeeze.

He knew his sister missed Kathryn and was worried for her. So was he.

...

As soon as there was light the next morning the search party went out again. It had been hours and still no sign of Kathryn.

Chakotay saw some blackberry bushes in the distance. He knew Fire Hair, or Kathryn, loved those berries. He made his way towards them and then his horse stopped, refusing to move. Chakotay saw a gaping hole in front of him. He backed up his horse and dismounted before he carefully approached the hole and looked in. He called out and saw something slightly move. Chakotay squinted and saw Kathryn at the bottom of the hole.

"Red Hair!" He yelled to the other warriors, "I found her!"

Chakotay called the rest of his men over and they had to tie some rope they had together. It was too steep to go down by hand. They tied off the rope and he lowered himself down. "Kathryn?" He said and touched her face. She had a nasty bloody cut on her head and some scratches.

She didn't respond. He felt her neck and felt her pulse was still beating under her clammy skin. He stroked her hair and she moaned. Chakotay said in his tongue, "Do not worry, Red Hair. We will take care of you. I will take care of you. Just like you did for me."

His men helped lift them out of the hole and he placed Kathryn in front of him on the horse.

They went back to the village and Sekaya saw them return. She ran towards them. "You found her! What happened?"

"The ground opened and swallowed her," Chakotay explained as he dismounted and took Kathryn into his arms.

"I will get the medicine woman," Sekaya said.

Chakotay carried Kathryn into his family's tipi and laid her down carefully.

The medicine woman and Sekaya soon arrived. Blue Sparrow made a medicinal paste and placed it on Kathryn’s forehead cut. She looked at Kathryn's injuries and said, "She may have a broken bone or two and sprains. She does not have a fever and her heart beat is strong, which is good. Red Hair will be fine, but sore. She needs to rest. We will see how she is when she wakes up."

Chakotay nodded and thanked the medicine woman before she left.

"Poor Kathryn," Sekaya said. "She cannot ever get a break, can she?'

Chakotay nodded. He knew she had a tough time and things just didn't seem to get any easier for her. He hoped he could progress in changing that.

...

Kathryn woke up with a massive migraine and groaned as her head pounded. Her eyes squinted and she felt nauseous. Her hand clutched the fur underneath her.

"Kathryn."

"Hhhmmm. Sekaya?" Kathryn rolled her eyes towards her direction.

"Yes. You hurt. Bad fall. One sun gone."

"Ohhhh," she groaned.

It took at last an hour for the migraine to subside. Even when it left, her head was still throbbing from the cut.

She braced her right arm to sit up and let out a yelp. Kathryn tried stretching it but it was very sensitive. She sucked in her breath.

"Broken," Sekaya said.

"It appears so," Kathryn said. Her other arm was uninjured an used it to sit up while Sekaya put a hand on her back. She moved her legs to a sitting position. Her right leg was sore but she was slowly able to do it.

"Great. Just great," she sighed, leaned her head back against the tipi, and closed her eyes.

Sekaya took a piece of fabric material and helped Kathryn fashion a sling.

Kathryn felt it getting colder in the tipi and saw a little light outside. It must be near sunset. Sekaya must have seen her shiver and placed a blanket carefully on her shoulders then started a fire.

Kathryn massaged her knee and tried to stand. Sekaya said, "No. Sit." She lowered herself back down and her stomach growled loudly.

"Long time since you eat. Return," Sekaya said and left the tent. When she returned, she had Blue Sparrow with her. "She said make you food to make you well."

Kathryn was about to argue against it but Sekaya gave her a look to accept.

"Thank you."

She had some of the stew and said, "This is very good. Blue Sparrow will need to show me how to make this."

Sekaya told the woman and said, "She glad to show."

The medicine woman freshened up the paste on her cut forehead and took a look at her injuries. She gave her something for the pain.

After dinner Kathryn felt the soft ruffle as a cool breeze pressed against the tent before she laid back down and fell asleep.

Chakotay entered the tent later and asked how she was.

"Kathryn's head hurt a lot when she woke up. It looks like she broke her arm. Her leg is hurt but not broken. Her forehead cut is starting to heal. She ate and is sleeping now."

Chakotay nodded and said, "Good. It could have been much worse."

"Yes, it could have," his sister replied.  
...

Kathryn needed help to stand the next day. She had a significant limp but was glad she could walk.

Sekaya told her to rest, but she had to get out of the tipi. It just made her feel worse to sit still. She noticed some children gathered around and curiously wondered what they were doing. As she approached she heard a familiar voice talking towards the children. As she neared, she saw Chakotay talking to them. It looked like he was telling them a story with his exaggerated large hands. She kept out of sight to see and listen, and not interrupt. She slowly sat down and tried to see if she could pick out any words she had learned so far from Sekaya. She picked out the words fox and river but that was about it. At the end of the story the kids were in awe and some asked questions. One boy in particular had the most questions. Kathryn had to hide a giggle as the other kids started to be annoyed with the constant questions. Chakotay answered one last question and then began another story much to the happiness of the little boys and girls.

Kathryn wondered why Chakotay was not married. He was more than old enough and he was next in line to be chief. There were enough women who were interested in him, but he was not in them. He was certainly good with children.

The next story was clearly a funny one, at the giggles of the children. Kathryn saw Chakotay's dimples pop out. He certainly was good looking and it helped that he wasn't wearing a shirt. His chest was a golden bronze with toned abs beneath the breastplate. The story ended and he stood up and started walking. The children were conversing with one another and Kathryn realized he was walking towards her general direction.

...

Chakotay noticed there was someone by the bush. He wondered if it was a shy child who wanted to join in. He was surprised to see it was She Who Watches Stars, formerly known as Fire Hair. She had been renamed from Fire Hair by the tribe because she was always watching the stars at night when she should have been sleeping. It looked like she was trying to move away without being caught but had trouble standing. He gave a chuckle at the sight. Then he gave her a hand and she took it to stand.

"Watched?" He asked.

"Listened."

He gestured to the children who were sitting and said, "Gather?"

"Oh, no, I shouldn't," she said.

He gestured his head over to persuade her and she relented.

Chakotay found her very interesting. He knew she was afraid of him at first when she was rescued from the Crows, maybe even terrified. He had blood on his hands and was angry with the Crows. They were violent and kidnapped Sekaya. In addition to that situation, Kathryn was beaten and from what he heard outside Red Line’s tipi, almost raped before Sekaya sent him over to help her. He remembered her standing there, determined and trying to look brave as the knife shook in her firm grip.

He could understand why she was intimidated and uncomfortable with him as well. When she asked why he didn't speak English earlier, he accused her people and essentially shut her down. Although he started the conversation to make her feel more comfortable, he ended up sabotaging it. Chakotay could understand being untrusting of his kind, especially the men.

Chakotay was surprised when Kathryn gave up her ring without a fight for the village's trade negotiations. He saw how it pained her and knew it must have been part of her family. A family she lost and he felt sorry for her. Sekaya, his sweet sister, was her only friend and she knew little of their language. He couldn't trade the ring. He wanted Kathryn to trust him and make her feel safe and welcomed and she became a bit more comfortable with him.

Chakotay was certainly shocked when she came into his tipi uninvited that day. Especially when that could be seen as a proposal. Men and women were not supposed to look at each other directly unless they were family members or betrothed. Apparently that is not the case in her culture. But she may not have known that and was directly looking at him. He couldn't help but look at her eyes that were pieces of the sky. They were soft and wet. She thanked him and he could hear the deep emotions in her voice. When she touched his arm it was unexpected. It sent a jolt through him. From that point on, he couldn't help but look at her. She was a stubborn one at times. She pulled her weight and was a hard worker even if she did not know quite what she was doing. She was even trying to learn their language. Chakotay believed he gained her trust, but Kathryn had been noticeably more depressed since her fall. Sekaya said she was hardly eating and slept longer.

Kathryn sat down behind the children who were watching Chakotay walk around and sit in front of them.

"It looks like She Who Watches Stars likes my stories, too," Chakotay said and the children giggled.

...

Chakotay started to share more stories with his young audience. Chakotay's voice was smooth and rich. Kathryn got lost in the voice many times. So much so she didn't even notice when Sekaya sat next to her.

"He great legend talker," Sekaya said.

Kathryn shifted in her trance and blinked. "Oh, hello, Sekaya. Yes, he is."

Sekaya leaned over and said, "I think brother like you."

"Good," Kathryn said.

Sekaya whispered, "Noooo. Liiiike you, like you." She then said the word, "Love," in her language, which she knew Kathryn had learned.

Kathryn opened her mouth and blushed. "No, I do not think so. Not in that way."

Sekaya nodded to say that it was.

"Silly," Kathryn said in her language. "He is looking because you are here and I'm a wounded animal."

After a few more of Chakotay's stories he left to do other chores and the children went to play a game.

"There are plenty of young women who desire Chakotay. Why does he not choose one of them?"

Sekaya said, "He love once. She wed Russian trader. No woman had interest him since. Said women too young. Gossip. Silly."

Kathryn clarified, "So his heart was broken?"

Sekaya nodded. "Chakotay, Angry Wolf, was then given his new name."

"So that is why he is against White men so much?"

Sekaya said, "Yes and because of my White school. Not nice. Chakotay did not like it. Very angry. Trader is how he know little English."

"Oh," Kathryn said.

"Chakotay does like like you."

Kathryn wondered where all of this was coming from. "Why, has he said something to you?"

"No, but know brother. Outside family, only stares and smiles at you."

Kathryn looked away. "Why is he not a chief yet? It seems that he could make a good chief. He is old enough, is he not? Or is he considered too old?"

Kathryn knew Chakotay was at least seven years her senior and she was twenty-six.

"He is of age. No age limit. Father decide he had too much….mmm...bitter in heart. Still had things to learn."

"Who decides? How long can you be chief for?"

"The chief can be for life. Can step down or if challenger. If father step down, Chakotay can be chief but can also be challenged before becomes chief. Go through tests."

"I see," Kathryn said and started to stand up and Sekaya helped. She started to walk with a bigger limp from sitting down.

"How leg? Head?"

"It hurts a little but I can walk. My head still hurt a little but it feels much better," she said.

"You make leg worse."

"I also need to move, Sekaya," Kathryn said pointedly and stood.

"Where are you going now?"

"To go sit in front of the tipi."

...

Kathryn sat upon a blanket outside the tipi watching the village. The chief sat next to her and joined her. He was a kind man. Although he didn't know English, he tried communicating the best he could. He held his hand towards her then his fingers moved towards his eyes and then pointed them to the village.

"Yes, I am watching the village," she said with a nod.

He repeated the motions but started with his hand pointing to himself. She smiled. He was going to as well. Chief Kolopak pointed out things to her as they people watched.

Kathryn noticed that a man wrapped in a blanket, who was about the same age as she was, walked and stood outside a tipi before he took out a flute. The chief nudged her and pointed to the scene. The young man started to play the flute in a beautiful song. After a minute a young woman poked her head out and walked out. The young man stopped playing and smiled as did she. They talked for a while under his blanket then went for a walk.

It must be some kind of courtship ritual, she thought.

...

A week later there was a wedding between that couple. There was dancing and food from morning until the afternoon. Presents were presented and their house was examined before the medicine woman came to proceed the ceremony. The couple left that night to their home as the celebration continued. Kathryn actually wished she could dance this time but her leg would not allow her to. Instead, her head went along with the rhythm of the drums and chants. She found the ceremony interesting. There were so many things that were similar to white customs yet there were things that were different. In this tribe, the man had to offer things to the woman he is interested in to prove he would be a good provider.

Chakotay had several offers to dance just like he had before. Again, he turned them down politely. He even offered suggestions to other men to dance with this time.

"You do not like to dance? You do not even dance when the men have their dance," Kathryn asked.

"Past. Not dance long time. Only spiritual dance, harvest, or battle."

"Why not?"

"Cannot enjoy."

"Oh. That is a shame," Kathryn said with disappointment.

"You like dance?" Chakotay asked with a raised brow.

"Yes."

"Why not dance before?"

"I… don't feel like it now. I also didn't know your dances but I do now. I would have liked to if my leg," she patted her leg, "was not hurt."

"Hmm," he said, "Can hop on one foot." A smile creeped up on his face.

Kathryn laughed at the joke when it hit her. "Then they would change my name again to Hop Foot."

Chakotay laughed at her joke. "Did you dance lot?"

"Sometimes. It depends on how much coffee I drank."

"Coffee?" He asked.

"It is a dark drink and it is bitter. Keeps you awake," she said.

'Hmm."

She massaged her right arm while remembering the coffee her mother made each morning. She smiled at the thought of her racing to get the first cup. Kathryn's mouth watered at the thought. She would do just about anything for a cup right now. She winced a little at the tender spot in her arm. Her arm had been aching in throbbing on and off.

"Hurt now?" He asked, noting her expression.

"It is nothing," she said at the ache.

"Pain not..." He tried to think of the word, "forget?" He was trying to find the right word.

"Ignore?" She said.

"Yes. Not ignore. Let me talk to Blue Sparrow."

"It's fine," she said.

Chakotay shook his head and said, "Stubborn."

...

That night, Chakotay was stirred from his slumber by a scream. He heard some cries and raced out of his tipi to his father's. Kathryn was writhing on her bed in obvious discomfort. She didn't appear to be awake but still under the spell of the sleep giver. She was talking fervently in her sleep.

Sekaya tried to soothe her and couldn't make out what Kathryn was saying, either. She was speaking too fast.

His father said, "Go fetch the medicine woman."

Chakotay hurried as he saw some other curious onlookers who had been awakened, some a little drunk from the wedding ceremony. He brought Blue Sparrow over with her supplies. She went to her bedside and started to feel Kathryn.

"Her physical pain is bringing out her demons. They come when she is the weakest."

She prepared a mix of two separate piles of herbs. She crushed one set and added a few more items into it. The other she bundled and burned, allowing it to smoke. She wafted it around Kathryn while saying a prayer. Kathryn seemed to calm down and her muscles relaxed. She stopped talking in her sleep.

"She should rest well now. It will help with the pain and nightmares. She may be drowsy in the morning. Give her the crushed herbs in hot water and have her drink it before she goes to bed tomorrow night. I will prepare some more for her after I evaluate her tomorrow," Blue Sparrow said as she stood up.

"Thank you, as always," Chief Kolopak said.

"I need to sleep, too. That was quite a party!" The medicine woman said. They all chuckled and she left.

Chakotay said "Well goodnight, father. Sister."

Kolopak said, "Goodnight, son."

"Goodnight, brother," Sekaya said.

He took a last look at Kathryn before leaving. Soon he wished the medicine woman could give him a potion because he could not sleep well later that night, either.

...

"You talk. Yell. Sleep. What dream?" Sekaya said the next morning.

"I do not remember," Kathryn said, but by Sekaya's reaction she didn't fall for it. Kathryn was never the best liar.

Sekaya tilted her head while waiting for the answer.

"I do not want to talk about it. Can we just leave it?"

"Best to talk about bad dreams. Tells us things."

"Not always," Kathryn muttered.

"Tell," Sekaya urged.

Kathryn stood up from her bed and went outside without answering. She felt a little out of it and thought that a cool dip in the lake would help.

She could feel Sekaya's eyes on her but she did not follow. She must have known she wanted to be alone. After all, she was used to being alone.

Kathryn carefully removed her sling first when she reached the lake. Then she slowly took off her dress and moccasins before she made her way into the cold water. It took her breath away and shocked her body awake.

The truth is that the wedding stirred up the ghosts of Mark, her ex-fiance, and her father. The latter of the two who died because he had been in the wrong place at the wrong time of a nearby gunfight. She had hoped that by moving away it would give her a fresh start and so did Mark. But sorrow seemed to follow her no matter where she went, and then Mark died. Things were better with this tribe but she had to admit she felt homesick, and dreaming of the ghosts did not help things. Sometimes reflecting on things like coffee had been enough to bring it on.

Kathryn had no paper or things to write like she normally would. Nothing to document plant life or map the region. No books to occupy her mind. She loved books and reading about new discoveries. That was gone. She did her chores and kept learning the language. She did ask to learn the bow and arrow and Chief Kolopak had been showing her. Of course, Kathryn couldn't practice in her current state. She did not own a horse to ride, either. She never asked since horses were one of the highest commodities...and because, at least in the beginning, they probably thought she would escape. Of course, she now knows for sure that she never was a prisoner. Yet, she didn't see the point in asking. It was not as if she was going anywhere. Kathryn had crossed states and territories with Mark. She had no idea where she was located now.

She didn't tell Sekaya that she saw the Crow set her house on fire when she was captured. She assumed Molly, her dog, was killed by the Crow. The only things Kathryn really owned were the clothes she wore, besides the berry basket and the bag she made. She tried to make the best of the situation and tried to replace it with people-watching. At least Chakotay's stories kept her occupied yesterday. She let out a large sigh at all of these things on her mind. She was lousy at beading and was so-so with baskets. She didn't have much usefulness or purpose here.

Kathryn started to make her way back to shore but realized she was stiff and she moved very slowly. The coldness numbed her leg and her arm. She cursed herself because while in her haste to the lake she should have brought a blanket. She slowly put her clothes back on and the sling. It felt warmer but her teeth chattered. She walked towards the village and shivered. Her tears started to flow when she realized how unhappy she was. Her depression came in waves and it could be crippling at times, as it was right now.

...

Chakotay rode his horse around the outskirts of the village. He couldn't sleep well and decided to scout around the lake. He saw someone walking and noticed it was Kathryn. She was hobbling towards the village and as he came closer he realized her hair was dripping but her clothes were dry. She must have gone into the lake.

Crazy woman. It is too cold, he thought.

Chakotay and his horse approached and he noticed she was crying. Not just lightly crying but absolutely sobbing. His people didn't show emotion openly often, well, except for Sekaya. After all, she was, “The Happy One.” Kathryn didn't even notice he and his horse were practically on top of her.

"Kathryn," Chakotay said. She stopped walking with a gasp and froze when she realized there was someone there. She hurriedly wiped her face.

"Oh, um, hello, Chakotay," she said quietly in his tongue and stroked the horse's muzzle and leaned in, hiding her red eyes.

"Cold?" He asked in his tongue.

"Yes."

"Want a ride to the village?" He continued in his tongue. He quickly realized she hadn't gotten that far in his language and switched to English.

"Ride horse to village?"

"Oh, no."

"You hardly walk. Freeze," Chakotay said and got off his horse. He gestured that he would help her up and she eventually took his offer. Kathryn was helped up first and he got on behind her before riding towards the village.

....

Kathryn felt awkward and was not planning on talking. His body felt warm behind hers. She moved her hair to the front of her chest so that her hair wouldn't get him wet.

"Bad dreams?" He asked.

She nodded.

Chakotay added, "Woke village."

"I did? I didn't mean to. I...I didn't know...I... I'm sorry," Kathryn stuttered.

Chakotay saw that she was getting flustered and placed a hand on her left shoulder. "It not your control when night demons come," he said.

She nodded.

"Why go into cold water?" He asked.

"I was a bit sleepy. Needed to be more awake."

"Blue Sparrow said be sleepy with medicine. Came last night."

"Oh," she said. After a while she added, "Chakotay... You do not have to speak English."

He stopped his horse and asked, "Why say that?"

"I know why you avoided speaking English. You do not need to. I do not want to think you are being forced to," she mumbled.

Sekaya must have told her the reason, he thought.

"No forced. Friends. Part of tribe family. Do it because want to."

Kathryn looked back and up at him. He gave a comforting smile and a nod. She blinked and felt her breath catch in her throat before she gave a soft smile. Chakotay rarely saw her smile lately.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me."

He would do anything to make her smile.

...

When they arrived outside his family’s tipi Chakotay said, "You better make sure the fire is still going, Sekaya. She went for a wash in the lake and she is chilled to the bone."

"I'll put some wood on the fire. Help bring her in."

Sekaya would have told her brother to stoke the fire but as he helped Kathryn in she knew she was right for him to bring her in. Chakotay was very tender with her. She hid her smile and watched their interactions.

Kathryn warmed up and ended taking a long nap, which made her even more tired. Her sleep was still so scattered with uncomfortable dreams.

…

In the late afternoon Kathryn slipped out of the tipi with a blanket around her shoulders. She walked to where some horses were corralled. She looked at the different horses there. There were three in front of her: a white, a fair hazelnut, and a darker brown one with a black train. She watched them eat and walk around. The chestnut horse approached her. Kathryn let the horse smell her and started to stroke its nose with her free hand. She missed her horses. They had been sold off by the Crow while she was still with them. The horse nudged her hand with its nose when it noticed she stopped stroking its nose.

"You want me to continue? Alright." She continued to pet the horse and even closed her eyes with her head pressed against its mane.

A snap of a twig startled her and she opened her eyes. Chakotay was there, just staring at her. He had an odd expression on his face.

"Chakotay," she said.

He replied quickly in his language and walked towards her. It was in a low tone.

"I do not understand," Kathyn shrugged.

He pointed towards the horse and walked slowly towards her.

"Horse. Danger," he said cautiously.

Kathryn looked at the horse and back at him. "The horse does not seem dangerous to me."

He slowly reached her and moved her aside and away from the horse. Chakotay watched the horse, then gave a curious look. He cautiously approached the horse and the horse stepped back. Kathryn walked back to her original position and called the horse over. It slowly came back and she started to pet it again. She took Chakotay's hand and slowly put it on the horse. The horse let him pet him.

Chakotay's face was astonished and he started to jabber with a lighter tone.

She made out, "Horse," and, "at peace." Kathryn continued to pet the horse with Chakotay. The other horses saw what was going on and gathered to be petted, too. Kathryn laughed at the situation and it looked like Chakotay was quite pleased, too.

Eventually, her leg began to become stiff and ache. She needed to walk and or sit down so she sat against the lower ring part of the corral and rubbed her leg. She had been holding the blanket with her sling arm and it slid down onto the ground from her grip. Chakotay lifted the blanket and draped it over her shoulder.

"How make wild horse calm?" He asked.

Surprised, Kathryn asked, "It was not a trained horse?"

He shook his head. "Horse never let people touch it. No ride. No get close."

"I am the only one who was able to pet that horse?"

"Yes."

Chakotay was well-known for his horse training skills. So that was why he was so worried. It was an unbroken horse and he thought it was dangerous. She could have been seriously injured more than she already was.

"How did it..?" He asked, referring to the horse.

"The horse came to me and I pet it. That's it."

Maybe the horse is her spirit animal. It did come to her at a distressing time, he thought.

He said, "You need see Blue Sparrow for cleansing."

"I'm fine," Kathryn said.

Chakotay gave her a look. "No. Body hurt. Soul...hurt. Not heal."

She looked down and swallowed. "I...just miss home."

"Sekaya told me you not talk about it. Even to her."

Kathryn bit her lip.

"We your friends. This your home," he said and placed a hand on her shoulder.

A large tear dropped down to her lap. "Okay. I will do it."

Chakotay gave a slight smile.

…

Sekaya came over to them and Chakotay told her how Kathryn agreed to the soul cleansing. They helped Kathryn to Blue Sparrow's tipi and Chakotay left the women.

“What happens in this ritual?" Kathryn asked Sekaya.

She replied, "You remove clothes. Purified with water. Then put into deep sleep to connect with self."

Kathryn started to ask more questions with some anxiety.

"Fine. You fine," Sekaya assured her.

Once Blue Sparrow knew that Kathryn was ready for the ritual, Sekaya headed out.

"Sekaya, aren't you staying?"

"No. Own journey," she replied before slipping out.

Kathryn looked perplexed. Blue Sparrow took her hand and patted the back of her hand to also reassure her. Blue Sparrow then covered the tipi and gestured to Kathryn's attire.

"You want me to take off my clothes?" Kathryn made a tugging motion to her clothes.

The woman nodded.

Kathryn blushed but Blue Sparrow nodded. She slowly started to strip. Blue Sparrow took a cloth and wet it in a basin. Kathryn held her dress in front of her chest feeling extremely exposed. Blue Sparrow turned back towards her and gestured to take her clothes and her moccasins. Kathryn took off her shoes and handed both to her. She set them neatly aside and she came over with the wet cloth. She started to wipe her shoulder and Kathryn backed off. Blue Sparrow held her hands up to show it was okay.

Blue Sparrow wiped her from head to toe. She took a robe and covered Kathryn in it before gesturing that she lay down.

The healer set a bundle of sage on fire and outlined her body with the wafting of it while saying some words. She repeated the process with other herbs. She crushed a mix of herbs and plants in a bowl in some kind of soup and gave it to Kathryn to drink. She smelled it and drank the bowl in its entirety. Blue Sparrow then laid Kathryn down and Kathryn started to feel her mind wander and her eyes droop.

"Hello, Kathryn."

Kathryn awoke in her bed. It felt so comfortable and her arm was splayed out over her pillow. She looked to the right and found Mark standing with a tray of breakfast and coffee.

"Hi," she said. Mark set the tray down on her lap and they gave a kiss to each other.

"This looks wonderful," Kathryn said and brought the coffee to her nose. She inhaled the aroma into her lungs.

Mark chuckled and said, "Yes, and so does the coffee."

She drank the coffee and hummed as it trickled down her throat. She moaned and quickly devoured the toast.

"Hey, slow down," Mark said with a smile.

She lifted the fork and scooped a mouthful of egg. She chewed, swallowed, and stopped. Something...something wasn't right about this.

Mark asked, "What's wrong?'

She moved the tray to the side and stood up to walk over to the window.

"Kathryn?"

Kathryn looked down and saw Molly curled up comfortably on the floor. She crouched and petted her.

"This isn't right. You're dead, Mark, and Molly’s missing."

"Yes. I know."

She turned around and looked at him with a heavy heart. The sight, the smell, the sounds...it all felt so real.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we didn't get married."

Mark placed his hands on her shoulder, "It's fine. We were happy."

Kathryn gave some nods. "We were. But I couldn't make you better. I failed. "

He placed his hands on her shoulder. "I was sick with an illness that kills thousands each year, Kathryn. You did all you could do. I think you know that."

"Our house was set on fire by the Crow."

"It is just a building. Home is where your heart is."

"I'm not sure where it is now," she said and looked out onto the spring day that lay outside the window.

"You will find out. Your heart will tell you. Let it tell you. Let it let go, Kathryn. Find another man who cares for you. "

"Another man? Mark…"

"Yes, Kath. Find someone else who can love you just as much as I have, or even more. You need to move on. For your own sake. For your own happiness."

"I think I've forgotten how to.. be truly happy."

"What was it that you liked to say? 'Let's experiment?' Try."

She shook her head. "Okay. I miss you, Mark."

"I miss you, too, Kath."

…

Kathryn opened her eyes and saw the top of the tipi. It had felt so real. She would be lying if she said she had not been impacted by the dream. She forgot about her injury until she tried to sit up.

Blue Sparrow helped her sit up and gave her some water to drink. She drank the water as Blue Sparrow called outside of the tipi. Sekaya came in not long after.

"How feel now?" Sekaya asked.

"I feel… closure."

Sekaya furrowed her brow at the word. "What is closure?"

"To close. To finish or complete a part of your life."

"Ohh. Calming now?"

"Yes, it's very calming."

"Looks like ritual worked. What did you closure?"

"That I needed to accept my mate's death. I felt guilty that he died even though I couldn't do anything about it. I also had to let go of my house. The Crows burned it."

Sekaya nodded. "Lot of grief. Lot of pain inside."

"Yes. Too much."

...

Months came and went and fall was well in motion. Children ran through the village playing a game. Kathryn wiped her brow as she gathered the rest of the crops into her baskets. It was time to make lunch for the men who had just arrived from hunting. The women prepared the food and handed the lunch out. Kathryn handed Chakotay his food and their eyes caught each other’s. They had become good friends. Kathryn had been melancholy with the nightmares that plagued her for several weeks after her injury. Chakotay had been patient, accepting, and comforting. Chakotay had been helping her learn the language in the evening with Sekaya and Kolopak while she helped them learn English. It was soon time that the French trader came and visited them. They wanted to be more familiar with the language before then. She gave him a small lingering smile before moving on distributing the meal.

After lunch, the young man who had married in the spring stood up and announced something to the village. Glances were given across the villagers.

"What did he say?" Kathryn asked.

Sekaya answered, "He challenge to be chief."

One of the elder women said something and there were some chuckles and giggles.

"She say that he just want impress wife," Sekaya giggled. Kathryn chuckled then Chief Kolopak spoke.

"Father said he will allow challenge tomorrow morning at mid-sun. "

She looked at Chakotay. He went from a relaxed disposition to a rigid one. Kolopak continued to speak.

"Any man of age is welcome to enter the challenge," Sekaya said.

...

Kolopak was visiting a family who had just had a baby. Sekaya had fallen asleep during the lesson that day and Chakotay looked distracted.

Kathryn put a hand on his shoulder and tilted her head.

"Mind thinking. Tomorrow," Chakotay said to her inquiring glances.

"You are going to be in the challenge," she said without question.

"Yes."

"Are you worried?"

"I am not as young," he said.

Kathryn stated, "I think you will be a fine chief, Chakotay.”

He looked at her.

"You care for our tribe very much," she said in support.

"Our tribe?" he said with a smirk.

"Our tribe," she said firmly.

...

The next morning she spotted Chakotay doing push-ups outside his tipi without his shirt on. Even though he was older than she, he was in remarkable shape. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until she almost dropped the bowl she was holding. Only once in a while did she see him without his leather shirt. She knew he was getting ready for the trials this afternoon.

...

First, it was a wrestling challenge. At times it looked like boxing was mixed into it. The younger man won the first round. Kathryn sighed and remembered how Chakotay worried about his age. His eyes were focused as they went for a second round in the dirt. It looked like Chakotay used the dirt dust to his advantage when he moved. He didn't put it into his opponent's face but he knew how to form the dust cloud, although he didn't need it. Kathryn could tell he was observing his opponent's weaknesses and using them against him. Chakotay won the last two rounds. Afterwards, there was a lacrosse game, which ended up tied.

"Now there are two more tests," Sekaya said, "Bravery. Diplomacy."

A group of elders, including Chakotay's father, talked to both men.

"Now tests with elders."

...

The tests finished in time for dinner.

"Have they decided?" Kathryn asked Sekaya.

Sekaya responded, "Tomorrow."

...

The elders decided. Chakotay came out with the other man out of the tipi. Both didn't look very happy.

Kathryn was confused. Maybe they didn't go with either one?

Sekaya looked confused, too, and went to follow her brother.

Kathryn decided to go for a hike to her favorite spot as she had planned to. It was a rock that jutted out of the hillside. She could see a few miles of untouched land from there. She would sit here and think about everything or think of nothing at all.

When she came back to the village she found out that Chakotay was chosen as chief.

"That is great! Why was he not happy earlier?"

"Elders want him to have wife."

"Oh," Kathryn said with a shrug. "Well, there are a lot of young women who would love to have a chance. He has many options."

"Yes."

...

The tribe gathered around for the ceremony to instill Chakotay as chief.

"The elders say why choose Chakotay now," Sekaya explained.

One by one, the elders stated the results of the tests and explained why Chakotay is about to be proclaimed chief.

"Skillful."

"Brave."

"Intelligent."

"Caring."

One of the elders then spoke.

Sekaya said to Kathryn, "Now chance to speak if anyone does not believe these things to be true to be chief."

Nobody said a word.

The elder spoke and was given the feather ceremonial headdress from Kolopak and placed it on Chakotay.

Everyone cheered and clapped. Kolopak joined in and sat with the elders while Chakotay took his rightful chief's spot. Then the celebrations began. One thing about the Dorvan tribe was that although they worked hard they celebrated with equal fervor. Food was passed around as one by one the villagers gave their congratulations to Chakotay and acknowledged him as chief. Even the children he read to did so as well. Finally, it was Kathryn's turn.

"Congratulations," she said in the native tongue.

"Thank you," Chief Chakotay replied.

"You will serve our tribe well." She could see a smile radiating from his eyes although he maintained a casual look.

"I will."

She gave a nod and sat down next to Sekaya. They ate and the dancing began. The women got up and Sekaya brought Kathryn to her feet. They danced in the circle, laughing and giggling.

Chakotay watched as the single, eligible, women danced before him. Kathryn really could dance, he thought to himself.

Later that night, the dancers sat down and Chakotay stood and gave a speech.

"Chakotay says he is honored and will serve the tribe. He will earn and be worthy of his new title. He will now participate in a dance that honors and gives thanks to the gods," Sekaya said.

Kathryn was interested because Chakotay rarely danced. He only did it for required dances such as to ask for rain, a good harvest, or fishing and game.

The drums beat as Chakotay chanted. He slowly spun with outright arms in a crouched dance.

Kathryn was transfixed on the dance. It was raw and it was beautiful. The mesmerizing dance transfixed her and captured her dreams later that night.

...

The next day Chakotay set off at once to check on the status of the village. Kathryn saw him talking to a nearby group of women while they worked on their own sewing projects. Women both young and old were so taken with him and the flirtation was apparent. By the looks of things, one mother was even trying to show off her daughter.

Kathryn smiled and tried to hide her laughter before getting back to work. She continued working on the water jug she was making. She rolled the clay that was supposed to make a handle and just as she was carefully placing it on when a twig broke behind her. She flinched and dropped the piece on the ground.

She looked behind her and saw Chakotay standing behind her.

"I startled you. Tried to be quiet. You were concentrating. Sorry," he said and picked up the clay and rinsed it in a nearby water bowl.

"It's all right," she sighed and caught her breath.

Chakotay handed the piece back to her. She realized he had very large and sturdy hands, which she never really looked at before. Kathryn took the clay strip and took it from his warm hands.

"How is your first day, chieftain?" She asked as she patted the wet clay with a cloth and started to mold it once again.

"It is fine. Different, but fine."

"I'm glad to hear it. Looks like your only weakness is distracting and sneaking up on women... when they don't find you first," she joked. She flattened the ends after she determined that it was the length she wanted.

Chakotay gave a soft smile and tugged on his ear.

"I believe they are still watching you," she said and placed the handle on the jar.

"Yes," he said.

She rotated the jar and took a look at it. After a final inspection, she smiled. Kathryn was definitely not one who was a skilled crafter but she was proud of the jug. All that was left was for it to dry out before putting it in the fire. She stood up and went to wash her hands.

"Is my jar worthy of the tribe?" Kathryn teased.

"It is," he said.

"Good. I was worried." Kathryn wiped her hands off and looked at Chakotay, who had a goofy smile on his face.

"What?"

"You have clay on face," Chakotay said and pointed to her cheek. She looked down but couldn't see it. He took a rag and gently wiped it off in several swipes. Her heart jumped a beat when his brown eyes looked at her. Damn, he was handsome and those dimples. She started to melt.

He put the rag down but didn't take his burning eyes off of her.

"Thanks," she managed to say and looked to the side.

"Just another chief job." He shrugged and she laughed.

"I'm sure you have other villagers waiting for a visit from you," she said. He nodded and said, "See later, Kathryn," before walking away. The way he said her name made it sound like molten chocolate. Only Sekaya and Chakotay were able to say her name right. The rest went with her tribal name, She Who Watched Stars. She suddenly felt warm in her cheeks.

...  
A month later.

Kathryn heard a flute playing in the early morning. She rubbed her eyes open and gathered her bearings. She saw that the chief, or that is, the old chief, Kolopak, was awake and Sekaya was just waking up as well.

Sekaya grumbled and muttered something. She hated waking up early. Kathryn chuckled at her daze.

Kathryn heard the flute playing outside the tipi. She slipped on her mocassins and wrapped a shawl around her. Once she reached the opening, she opened the flap of the tipi enough to peer outside without letting too much of the cool morning air inside.

In front of the tipi stood Chakotay, wrapped in a blanket, playing a flute. Next to the tipi were several horses with blankets and furs on them. Kathryn dropped her jaw open.

  
"Who is it? Who plays so early?" Sekaya groaned, clearly still sleep-laden with her eyes barely open.

Kathryn couldn't speak. Kolopak approached, took a look through the doorway, and smiled. "Chakotay.”

Sekaya's eyes furrowed. "Why is he......? Ohh! Today!" Her eyes opened wide and she smiled. She raced out of bed and tugged on Kathryn's arm.

"You know what means, yes? I told you before."

"I know what it means," Kathryn said. It meant that Chakotay wanted to court her and eventually marry her. She knew that it was usually the courting male’s sister or sisters would help make the blanket for the ritual. So Sekaya must have already known.

She had seen the ritual months ago when she was sitting with Kolopak. The horses, blankets, and/or any other gifts were proof that he could provide for her. All she had to do to prove she was interested was step out of the tipi and let him cover her with his blanket. She felt very nervous all of a sudden. Kathryn had not been with anyone since Mark. But Mark was dead… and he told her to move on in the cleansing. Now, the new tribal chief, brother of her current best friend, and also great friend, wanted to court her.

"Go. Go," Kolopak gestured and smiled. Sekaya nodded.

Kathryn looked back at Chakotay, who was standing and serenading her with the flute.

Could she? Would she?

Kathryn timidly and slowly exited the tipi towards Chakotay. She noticed others peeking out of their own tipi as well and her blush warmed her cheeks against the crisp morning air. Her hand nervously went to her hair and moved it behind her ear and she pet the horses, especially the wild one. Chakotay stopped playing and smiled. Kathryn walked over and he met her and encompassed the blanket around both of them. Heat radiated off of his body and surrounded her.

"Why me?" She asked, "You could have chosen any woman in the tribe."

"I want you. Not them."

"But why? I'm not very good at cooking or sewing. I wouldn't make a good wife, especially for a chief."

"You are smart. Kind. Funny. Intelligent. Brave. Put tribe before yourself. Also quality chief have."

"I'm not that brave," she said.

"You are." He lifted her chin up. "You make me feel at peace." Chakotay took a hand of hers and placed it on his chest. "Never felt peace before."

She bit her lip and her eyes became watery. Kathryn looked into the eyes of the man she was once somewhat afraid of. Of one who she thought was so serious. Now, all she could see was a man who was declaring his love for her. She saw the ring on her finger against his heart. The one he had saved from being traded for her. She could feel his strong heartbeat.

"Go for a walk?" He asked.

Kathryn nodded and he placed the large blanket around both shoulders. Chakotay placed an arm around her and they started to walk. Although they've never done this before it felt so natural, as if they had always done it. They walked in silence for a bit.

"I... How does this work? You are not just doing this because the elders want you to get married?"

"No. Just myself. I feel..." he tried to find the right word, "bond with you."

"You are attracted to me?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Is that why you have been watching me?"

He chuckled, "Yes."

She giggled in return.

"We court each other for several weeks or few. Plans usually made with bride's family. The woman sets the date for the wedding. Usually before that time the woman makes the home and decorates it before the wedding. Since already have home, not needed."

He paused and said, "Do you want do this? Be with me? Then be my bride?" He asked seriously. "This what you want?"

"Yes. I...believe I am attracted to you as well."

He turned towards her, making sure he was hearing her correctly. "You are?"

"Yes."

His eyes followed her nose to her mouth. His hand caressed her face before he held her cheek in his warm hand. Kathryn leaned into the hand and their lips slowly met. His lips were warm and tender. They continued for a while until they heard cheering behind them. They turned around and saw that a small crowd of onlookers had followed them.

They both laughed and she buried her embarrassed face into his chest.

...

"I told you Chakotay like you." Sekaya said.

"Oh, hush!" Kathryn said and gave her a slight push. Chakotay's dimples formed.

"Brother said nothing, of course until he came to me to make blanket! I wouldn't unless he told me for who," Sekaya ragged on her brother.

Kolopak spoke to the group in the tipi.

"Father says he happy. Chakotay better man now. Why he is chief. Kathryn helped give him peace. That was what held him back before. Too angry. Father pleased you will be his wife. Good medicine. Give blessing."

"Thank you," Kathryn said.

They talked about how the process works. They decided to court each other for fourteen suns. By then, they would get married if everything worked out. Kathryn would not need to physically make a home since Chakotay already had one from his last failed courtship but she still was to decorate it to her liking. In their tribe it was the maternal line who set up or was involved in the courtship and marriage process and sponsored it. Of course, she did not know where her family was and Chakotay's mother and grandparents were long gone so things had to be adapted.

...

She went for a ride on her new horse while riding with Chakotay. It was the wild one she had calmed and Chakotay was able to train. He gave it to her as a gift. She thought about her mother and sister and stopped her horse.

Chakotay stopped alongside her. "What is it?"

"Nothing."

He waited for an answer.

She relented, "I miss my mother and my sister. They would be ecstatic to see me married."

"Ex-static?"

"Very happy."

"Mmm. Must miss them much," he empathized.

"I do."

Chakotay reached over and held her hand. "It will be fine. I will make you happy. We make our own family."

"Chakotay...how many kids do you plan to have?"

His eyes sparkled. "Enough to have a small tribe."

She laughed at the look on his face. "Whoa," she said.

...

The days passed. Courting Chakotay had been wonderful. He had his chief's duties but since he was not required to go with the hunters all of the time, they courted around it. He took her to hidden creeks and trails to some of his favorite spots. They brought some food with them one day for a picnic. They laid down a blanket and shared the meal and water from the pouches.

"When did start like me?" Chakotay asked.

"What do you mean? As a friend?"

“When not scared of me. Why were you scared of me?"

She looked down and blinked.

"I did not know you were Sekaya's brother until we were brought back from the other village. I knew I could trust that if you were Sekaya's brother, and she loved and trusted you so much, that you would be okay. I hoped. But when you killed Red Line...yes, I was a bit scared even though you stopped....what he was about to do...I knew you didn't trust me. But you treated me well. You took care of me even when you didn't trust or know me. You gave me some of your food and water. You gave me your blanket when we were brought to the village. You told me I wouldn't be hurt. You protected me multiple times and in different ways. But it was when you didn't trade my ring that stopped me from being uncomfortable with you.”

"Bringing you peace brought me peace here," Chakotay said and laid her hand on his heart. "I will always take care of you. Your needs first."

He cupped a hand to her cheek and they leaned in. It was warm and tender. Their juicy lips continued their rhythm. Even with Mark she never felt such passion. Their mouths changed position to make sure every part was inspected just as thoroughly. Eventually, they had to come up for air and she blushed. He did, too, with his dimples prominent.

...

"So, what is Chakotay like?" Sekaya said and made a kissing face.

Kathryn blushed and turned pink. “Good. Really good."

Sekaya giggled and so did she. "Chakotay is different now. Happier. Calmer. You reason why he chief now."

"What do you mean?" Kathryn asked.

"Elders thought he had stone heart. Ever since his woman left. Elders didn't want a chief with hard heart to look over children and women."

"Oh."

Sekaya hugged her and said, "Because of you, he is chief. And now I get a sister! Chakotay, he is handsome, no?

Kathryn chuckled. "Yes, very handsome."

"Good thing he will like new wedding dress."

Kathryn couldn't believe the wedding was tomorrow. The couple had already spoken with the healer and the elders. Both parties had their version of a bridal and groom shower. They got advice on how to be better spouses and the women gave her some items for the wedding.

One had asked, "Are you virgin?"

Kathryn cleared her throat and her cheeks reddened, "Yes."

The women talked excitedly.

She nervously asked, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

Sekaya said, "Most lost virginity before bleeding. Then stop and wait for husband."

"Oh, I see. Will Chakotay see it as a good thing?"

Sekaya said, "Yes."

....

It was the morning of the wedding. She couldn't sleep much and went for a little walk just as the sun crept up over the horizon. Kathryn wrapped herself in a blanket that cool, dewy morning. She didn't go too far, just went in a circle. She was a bundle of nerves. She saw Chakotay step out of his own tipi. He noticed her and started to walk over.

"You couldn't sleep much, either?"

"No," Chakotay said softly and took her hands on his. He brought them up to his mouth and warmed them up with his breath. They both haven't had luck with their former fiancées in the past.

"I'm a little nervous," Kathryn chuckled.

"Same. Marry beautiful woman,” he raised his eyebrows.

She let out a toothy grin and looked at his loving eyes. Each time she did her heart skipped a beat. "What about me? I am marrying a chief!"

Chakotay laughed and placed kisses on her hands. "I am happy."

"Me, too," she said.

Chakotay tugged her hands with a mischievous look on his face. He tugged her into his tipi.

"Chakotay, what are you doing?!" She quickly whispered.

He went towards an area of the tipi and retrieved a small wooden box. He brought it over and handed it to her. It was beautifully carved with a horse on its lid. She was surprised because as was tradition, she set up the inside of the tipi. Chakotay stayed with a friend in the meantime and must have had it with him until now.

"Oh, it's beautiful," Kathryn said and traced it's edges.

"Open."

Inside was a necklace. He lifted the necklace out of the box and put it on her. It was a small silver necklace with a few dripping beads which definitely was not made in the tribe.

"Where did you get this?"

"The last time French trader came."

Kathryn smiled. He had been planning this for a while. She knew he had even given her books, pencils, and a journal from the trader the few weeks after the trader came. Chakotay saw her looking at them and saw her lingering disappointment when she couldn't have them. Then they mysteriously appeared on her bed and Sekaya said she had nothing to do with it.

"Did you make this box?"

He nodded.

"You are very skilled. Thank you.” Kathryn gave him a kiss. Then the kiss became deeper.

"Thank me again tonight," Chakotay said with a wink.

"I need to tell you something...before we get married," she said, her face looking down at the box as she nervously stroked it.

Chakotay's eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"I am a virgin," Kathryn said with a blushing face.

Chakotay chuckled. "Good. I am not."

Kathryn nervously giggled.

He wrapped his arms around her and said, "We have all life to make you not a virgin." She sighed in relief.

...

Kathryn put on the white buckskin dress and her moccasins. Sekaya smoothed Kathryn's hair and placed red paint on Kathryn's cheeks. Some of the elders were there helping as well as Blue Sparrow. When she was done, she turned towards them. They smiled and nodded in approval.

"You make beautiful bride," Sekaya said.

They walked with her to where the ceremony was to be held. Chakotay and several men who were his friends met them there with the officiant. The villagers watched them meet. Chakotay was dressed up in his finest as well. This time he wore a red shirt and black pants with a breastplate.

Words were said. Some were translated. Kathryn had memorized what she was to say. She had difficulty because Chakotay's eyes distracted her throughout the ceremony.

Soon, the blanket ceremony took place and with a gift of her food to him, they were married.  
...

There was food and dancing and as was custom, a meal was shared with the family in the couple's tipi. Kolopak and Sekaya said goodnight...but not before Sekaya winked before she left and covered the tipi. Kathryn was happy it was not burnt.

Kathryn and Chakotay stood alone in the tipi next to each other. Chakotay slid his hand into hers and turned towards her. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest. He brushed a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. She let out a shuddered breath.

"Wife," he said.

"Husband," she replied.

"Nervous?"

She placed a hand on his chest just above his breastplate and gave a nod. He tilted her chin up and said, "It fine. Love wife. Take care of wife."

Kathryn lifted onto her toes and gave him a kiss.

"Love chief."

He smiled. He always loved it when she called him chief in that playful, teasing, tone. He leaned down and kissed her, slipped his hand out of hers and placed both hands on her cheeks. Her hands wrapped behind his neck, drawing him closer. His hands moved down onto her breasts and moulded them. She let out a content sigh. He took off the breastplate and shirt so that his chest was bare. Her hand stroked the tan chest. He reached around her waist and down to her butt and pressed her body flush against his. Kathryn could feel his hardness pressing against her. Chakotay then walked behind and hugged her with his chin on her shoulder. He took in her scent at her neck and placed kisses there. Her goosebumps raised on her body. She felt him slowly raise her dress higher and higher until it was off her body and carefully put it away. With the exception of her earrings, necklace, and mocassins she was completely naked. Chakotay continued to stand behind her and his weathered hands felt all over the front of her body and to her inner thighs. Her head naturally arched back into his chest. His lips kissed her hair as his nose tucked in as well. She could hear the rustling of his face near her ear. Kathryn turned around and watched as his eyes took in her nakedness with desire. She moved to undress him as well with some of his help with the leggings. Kathryn took a breath in and looked at the striking body and how the lines of hip bones angled inwards.

Kathryn’s hand traced over his chest and arms. She hesitated on shyness as she felt his hips. Chakotay walked her backward and laid her gently onto the fur-covered cot. They both slipped off their shoes and Chakotay crawled on top of her. His eyes searched her face and came in for a kiss. Kathryn placed her hands on his sides and Chakotay spread her legs open. The kissing deepend and their hips naturally began to sway in desire. He took hold of his erect member and pressed in slowly to her entrance.

She let out a large breath and clutched at his sides. It was a bit uncomfortable. "Oh!"

He stopped as her hands tightly gripped him.

"Just tight. I'm alright. Just go slow."

Chakotay slowly moved and widened her up. She felt like she was stretching. It eventually started to feel pleasurable as he softened a bit. His black hair swept across his back. He treated her gently and caressed her. Her hands smoothed across his back. There started to be more of a rhythm. She gave out a slight moan.

Chakotay looked at his beautiful, naked, wife before him. She was so beautiful. The hills of her breasts perfectly fit into his hands and she made a pleasurable sound when he held them. Kathryn's eyes fluttered like butterfly wings as her body began to arch with his movements. Her long red hair was sprawled under her. If he didn't know any better, she could have been a goddess. He slid his hands underneath and gave gentle squeezes to her soft buttcheeks, which made Kathryn press into him and moan even more.

Kathryn never knew or could imagine what it would feel like. At first, it was tight and uncomfortable. Now it was pleasurable and she didn't know how it would feel. Chakotay continued and increased his thrusts. A sensation within her started to creep into her mind. She felt like she was slowly losing her mind. Chakotay used his arms to pull her into an embrace so that their chests were against each other and they could feel the other's racing heartbeats. She cried out as swirls went around her mind. She gave a final yelp before her body trembled in ecstasy. Chakotay cried out as his seed entered his wife in full force. He shuddered before he collapsed on his back beside her.

Kathryn's mind and body were absolute mush in the next moments. Chakotay moved onto his side and placed his arm over her waist.

"Wife no virgin anymore," he said with a chuckle.

Kathryn giggled. "True."

"How did it go?" Chakotay said and caressed her hair.

"I enjoyed it," she said and ran her hand up to his face.

"Good," he said.

Kathryn moved onto her side and snuggled against him. Chakotay wrapped her in his arms. She felt so comfortable and safe in them.

"I love you, Chakotay."

"I love you, Kathryn."

…  
**Epilogue:**

Today, the legend of Chief Chakotay and Kathryn, or She Who Watches Stars, is well known. They had three children. Under Chief Chakotay’s time as leader, Dorvan flourished with his wife at his side. Legend has it that if you are very still and quiet while you gaze among the stars, that they will appear in a cluster of stars that resemble a horse and a wolf.

**Author's Note:**

> Started 9/27. Finished 11/07/2020.
> 
> I don't own rights to Voyager. That's all Paramount/CBS.


End file.
